Intellectual Property Law

Q&A Lawyers jokes?

Q. Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A. Professional courtesy. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop? A. Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and night crawlers. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What's the definition of a lawyer? A. A mouth with a life support system. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new car. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor? A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? A. The caterer. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. How can you tell a lawyer is lying? A. Other lawyers look interested. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A. Not enough sand. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon? A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A. His lips are moving. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? A. You can negotiate with a terrorist. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? A. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first? A. Who cares? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common? A. You always hear about them, but you never see them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A. Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull? A. Jewelry.

Public Comments

1. hahahahahah!!!! Merry Christmas !
2. lmao! Excellent. Gotta work all night and that has put me in a very good mood. Thanks ;-)
3. Unfortunately that entire list is true. Very funny jokes.
4. lol. i got some of my own too =Þ. _______________________________________________ Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice. Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start! Q: What?s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more. Q:Whats the difference between a lawyer and a hooker? A:The hooker will stop screwing you once you're dead. Q:What do you call a lucky break? A:A bus-load of lawyers goes off a cliff. ... Q:What do you call a crying shame? A:A seat was empty. =]
5. Brilliant.
6. Lol. another keeper Mechelle.
7. brilliant star4u.lol
8. OMG!!! You brought tears to my eyes... xD Have a star!!! *
9. Funny! 10!
10. your on a roll lol
11. hahahaha excellent brilliant funnyyyyyyyyy!!!!
12. garbage
13. Gotta love lawyer put-down jokes. lol.
14. Q. What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a mobster? A. An offer you can't understand.
15. xdvszegg