Intellectual Property Law

Lawyers Again?

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips move Q: What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog. Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50? A: Your honour. Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy. Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep? A: Because deep down, they are all nice guys Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of crap? A: a bucket Q: What is the difference between God and a lawyer? A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer. Q: What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common? A: Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being. Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives? A: Their personalities.

Public Comments

1. hahahaha, funny!
2. Very funny!
3. Ha! Nice. Got one for you: Why are scientists starting to use lawyers instead of lab rats in experiments? 2 reasons. The scientists become less attached to the rats and there are certain things that even rats wont do!
4. what do you call a lawyer who plays billiards answer pool sharks
5. This is so scary...I have never heard bad things about lawyers until just no....wanna know the bad part? i just hired one Tuesday!!!! OMG!!
6. A Lawyer & the Pope die on the same day and are met at the gates of Heaven by St. Peter who ushers them down a block in Heaven. They stop in front of this Mansion & after St. Peter opens the door; they walk into this huge room with marble floors & a skylight overlooking Heaven. St. Peter tells the lawyer: " Sir...this will be your quarters in Heaven " The lawyer replies: " Wow...thank you ...this is beautifull ! ". St. Peter asks the Pope to follow him & takes him to another block with a small dirty shack on it. St. Peter enters with the Pope & St. Peter brushes aside the cobwebs & reaches up to screw in the one lightbulb . St. Peter tells the Pope: " Your Holyness...this will be your quarters in Heaven " & starts to walk away. The Pope grabs St. Peters arm & asks " I don't understand this ? You give a lawyer a mansion but I have to live in a shack ? ".....St. Peter replies : " Look....its simple...up here we have hundreds of Popes; but thats the first damn lawyer thats ever made it ! "
7. All correct ha ha V good have a star
8. Don't insult crap! Excellent.
9. Ha ha good ones. The law's on your side! :-)))
10. All good ones again my favoutite What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common? hahahahahaha!!
11. PMSL , GREAT LAWYER JOKES BEST i HEARD IN A LONG TIME, KEEEP MAKING ME LAUGH, sTAR!!!!!
12. ha ha ha ha very funny there Jim<ab>
13. ha ha ha funny